Recovery, en route.

I wrote something yesterday, and it was perhaps the most detached piece of writing I would've put up here. It was almost as if I could fathom the idea but I felt disconnected from it; being divorced from your own voice is a different kind of strange.

It's like someone driving your car, but you're in the trunk.

The concept I'd like to discuss with you is something from the 10th, when I spoke about https://upgradedmindpalace.blogspot.com/2020/02/this-is-how-i-did-it.html...

A good friend of mine said to me ''this is the best you've ever written''. 

A part of me really agreed with her, too - I gave it both barrels. But if you create something amazing, you're left with this want for more. I try to think of quality in terms of honesty because it's the best policy.

If I'm honest, the stand-out voice of the world surrounding me in the last few days has cried out for healing but not necessarily in those words; people get hurt, hold heartache and haemorrhage for recovery but the road is exactly that - a road.

Roads are paths to destinations - twists, turns, textures and signs.

If you vacillate between ''I can do this'' and ''I wish I was never born'', don't panic because that's a twist.

It's actually in those moments that I began to identify thought patterns and developed new neural networks to integrate effective emotional regulation.

If you see a new opportunity to try something different that'll be good for you in the long term but feel a swell of fear of the unfamiliar, take it easy because that's a turn.

It's weird, I enjoy doing things differently but change scares me. I used to be the guy who hated surprises, now one of my fondest memories is my 24th birthday when another good friend of mine threw me the first surprise party of my entire life. Taking detours doesn't necessarily mean deviating from the path.

If you encounter something or someone that evokes a certain or unfamiliar feeling, keep it cool because that's a texture.

Just because something feels rough, does that make it bad? I could argue that soft and smooth draws people into complacency, which is bad. Maybe I needed to get as hurt as I was to appreciate the spaces in my memories as I reflect on what they mean from where I see them now.

If you observe something leaving your mouth, be present because that's a sign.

My tone, my words and my responses... it was brutal. I remember telling my cousin about the break up at my granny's funeral last year and I quietly roared as I bickered with myself about letting someone go. My cousin said to me ''sounds like you've still got some work to do''.

I could go on, but the key thing I want you to take away - if you've just started walking the road to recovery or got lost somewhere, it'll turn everything you know around and you should expect that.

Before you realise it, though, you'll marvel at how far you've come walking on one path - it may not be straightforward but you'll know where to go. It takes discovery to be en route to recovery.

Thank you for staying long enough for me to thank you.

Stay cool,

- Your Friendly Neighbourhood Kenji